A Guide Named Gunner and Other Inevitable Occurrences on the Colorado River

Other than the zip line, white water rafting was probably our favorite activity in Moab. We really love Moab. Every time we go there we find more things to do, but it's kept it's small town feel. 

Of course we have to be bused to the location where the raft gets in the river, which was about a twenty minute drive in a converted school bus. 

I have to stop here to talk about our bus driver, Doug. He reminded me of the comedian Ron White. If he would have had a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other, he would have been his twin. He had a really dry sense of humor. He was probably in his late 50's or early 60's and earlier in his career he was a river guide, rock climber, avid outdoor adventurer, but of course as we all know, it's hard to physically keep up the same level of activity. And so, Doug became the bus driver for the river tours. If you don't know who Ron White is I've inserted a link to give you an idea. WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE. Ron While: They call me Tater Salad

Sorry about the blurry pics. Tater Salad was driving around some pretty good curves at a decent rate of speed.

Here is one of our guides. This is Gunner, and as I mentioned in my Facebook post, having the name Gunner ensures only a couple of career choices- river raft tour guide happens to be one of them. In the mirror you can see Tater Salad (bus driver Doug). 

Peyton trying to look suave. Eli looking like he does in every photo. They are probably giving us the safety speech. We learned the sign for "I'm okay" and the sign for "I'm not okay." We learned how to catch the throw bag or T-Bag if we fell over and had to be pulled back in from a distance. 

 This is I am okay. The NOT okay sign is just your fist up.

This was our bus and rafts. There was another family who went on the other raft. 

This is just after we had "put in" as they call it. That's when you.... put your raft in the water. Guess what it's called when you take your raft out of the water...yep. That's the "put out" location. Actually, I don't think it's really called that, but our guide, Conner was new, and that's what he called it. I don't think he will ever live that down. Even the people on the other raft heard him and really gave him a hard time. Poor Conner.

Here we are looking like we are just floating leisurely down the Colorado River. Well we are actually floating leisurely down the Colorado River. This part was very calm, and we might have even been in an eddy which is a current that runs counter to the main flow of the river. It slows you way down and can even send you upstream. 

Fun fact: We don't have helmets on because these were only Class 1, 2, and 3 rapids. Anything higher than a Class 3 and you have to wear a helmet.

Our Guide Conner is from Salt Lake City, UT where he is a ski instructor during the winter months. He has a tough life. 

What's the difference between a river guide and a mutual fund? The mutual fund will eventually mature and earn money. 

What's the difference between a river guide and a large pepperoni pizza? The pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four. 

(jokes told by Gunner the guide)

We were getting up close to the cliffs so that we could see the cliff swallows' nests. They make them on the sides of the cliffs. The nests look a lot like a wasp nest stuck to a wall. Very papery looking. 

P.S. No idea if they were African or European swallows. 

Some beautiful scenery along the way. 

Several John Wayne movies were filmed near this location. In fact, in all of John Wayne's movies that showed the Rio Grande, they filmed them on the Colorado, so technically, we were in Mexico in this picture. 

I know it looked like we did nothing but float leisurely down the river, but there were rapids, I swear. It's just that you can't take pictures very well in the rapids while you are holding the chicken wire. (the rope around the raft) This was just before the end of the tour. Our guide told us there was a photographer on the shore taking pictures of us. Peyton had to be cool and let go so that he could vogue and strike a pose. I was yelling at him the whole time to hold on. He didn't listen to me. I think he would probably say it was worth it.

They took six or seven pictures, but this was the only on where all four of us were looking this way. The wave hit in the next photo and you can't see Eli. Then the raft turned sideways and Doug was blocked. Peyton looks the same in all of them, so I guess it kind of worked out for him.