Las Vegas - Family Fun

Alternate Title- We are the Worst Parents in the Universe

Doug and I visited Vegas a total of one time prior to this visit and that was to attend the Eagles concert at the MGM Grand in November of 2011. I have to say that was a great visit, but we were without the boys, and we only stayed two nights.

We needed a stop (place to spend the night) between the Grand Canyon and San Diego, so Doug booked a room in Vegas. By all internet accounts, the Excaliber was touted as the most kid friendly on the strip, so he booked our room at the Excaliber.

Now, the drive in was horrible because we kept running in to horrible rain and wind. The Forerunner was hydroplaning and Doug pulled into Vegas with white knuckles. We found the Excaliber easily and eventually found a place to park. In the parking lot on the way to the hotel I warned the boys that there would be a lot of people called "barkers" who would try to give them pamphlets and flyers and try to talk to them. They were to ignore these people and take NOTHING they were handed. It was a good call because immediately inside the hotel there were barkers. We came in through the back so we had to wind our way through the casino in order to get to Tower II where we were staying.....yeah....Doug told Eli to look at the carpet as Doug led him through. Peyton was allowed to look straight ahead, but he could not slow down or stop. He had to avert his eyes if he saw anything.

We got our room key and checked into our room. Finally. We were so tired from the long and difficult drive we were just ready to crash. But once we got into our room it was clear that housekeeping had not cleaned properly. There was still food in the fridge, trash in the room, toiletries in the bathroom. You get the picture. I called the front desk to have us moved and while Doug went to get the new keys, I wouldn't let the boys take their shoes off or sit on the beds. We just looked out the window across the street at New York, New York and watched the crazy people riding the roller coaster while it lightninged.

We were moved a couple of rooms down to a room that had been cleaned. By that time everyone was starving so we decided to try the buffet. It was the worst buffet---probably the worst food---we had ever had. It was also very expensive, so we felt even worse about the whole experience. To try to recoup our losses I took a bunch of chop sticks and fortune cookies for Eli to give away as souvenirs. Sorry if any of you reading this get one.

Anytime we were out of the room it was a carefully choreographed maneuver to avoid images that would forever scar the boys. I'm not even kidding. It was not at all like Doug and I remembered. It's like when you think about a movie you have seen years ago and you never remember the cursing or nudity until you watch it again with either your kids or your parents and you wonder HOW you could have missed it all.

The only upside to the whole experience was that we found a Krispy Kreme in the Casino. We got two dozen doughnuts and two Krispy Kreme hats. It's amazing how much better any situation is with Krispy Kreme.

The next day we walked down the strip to the giant M&M and Coke stores and then drove by the Pawn Stars pawn shop before leaving, and not a moment too soon. While it wasn't our most shining moment as parents, we managed to make the best of it and get both of them out without gambling or drinking issues, tattoos, or emphysema.

Here's Peyton at Pawn Stars. The line to get in was all the way down the block, so he didn't get to go in there. The building is surprizingly small too.