Vance Family Vacation 2015

Iowa and Minnesota

AKA World's Largest Truckstop and The Mall of America

July 2- IOWA 80 Truck Stop

Somewhere around three hours into the drive from Chicago to Bloomington, Minnesota there stands an oasis in the vast highway called IOWA 80. It boasts of being the world's largest truck stop and probably is, although I'm not sure Guiness has been out to actually verify this claim. At any rate, this was our next destination accompanied by Doug's soundtrack of trucking songs (oh yes- he has a soundtrack for each destination). After a heart wrenching "Teddy Bear" and a couple of rousing songs like "Convoy" and "The White Knight?" we pulled into the WORLD"S LARGEST TRUCKSTOP.

It was very large with several restaurants and a gift shop inside although, unless you are a trucker and can actually enjoy the on site dentist, chiropractor, barber, showers, etc. it's just not quite as much fun. While we were visiting there was also a YMCA daycamp there on a field trip. It was pretty much chaos the whole time.The counselors kept yelling at the kids to stop whining and get in line and the kids ignored them and raised cain.

Now this is an interesting photo. This is a chrome and lights display there in the truckstop. Pardon the haze, this was all backlit by a wall of windows above the display. What is very strange about this photo is that I did not see this gentleman in my camera as I was taking the picture. I am telling the truth; he is like a ghostly apparation that you can't see at the time but when you get your prints back something ghostly is there, only I am sure he isn't a ghost; I just didn't see him which is odd because he is not of slight build. He is a fine gentleman, I'm sure, and I am not poking fun at his size, rather moreso my failing eyesight as of late.

As I close this day's journey, I have to say, it was interesting, but a bit anticlimactic. I don't know what I was expecting, but I don't think this was it. It's a nifty roadside attraction, and I'm glad I saw it once, but I don't think I will plan any trips around this site as I think once in my life is enough. However, please let me insert this caveat because I don't want to be the cause of tens of people canceling their plans to visit this attraction, I said the same thing after visiting the Statue of Liberty and she is still a very popular landmark.

July 3, Mall of American

What epic family vacation would be complete without a trip to the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota? Bloomington is a 15 minute drive outside of Minneapolis and as far as I can tell was actually created to house the Mall of America. There are tons of hotels situated within walking distance of the mall but hotel shuttles still run ever 15 minutes. The mall is actually under construction now while a hotel is being built connected to the mall. It will be like going to Disneyworld and staying on property. You will never have to leave the premises to spend your money.

Fun Facts about Mall of America

7 Yankee Stadiums would fit in the Mall of America--but then the Mall would be obnoxious and cocky so I wouldn't recommend it.
258 Statues of Liberty would fit inside the Mall of America--and 50 different kiosk workers named Olga or Sebastian would run up to her to harass her and try to polish her nails naturally or straighten her hair with a ceramic flat iron.
There are over 520 retail stores in the Mall of America. If you didn't count the stores with multiple locations more than once I think the number would be more in line with 150. There are 4 stories to the mall and some stores are on all 4 stories in different locations.

I did get kind of nostalgic for the 80's thought when I saw so many stores selling merchandise from the 1980's. For example:

A Swatch store where you can replace those hard to find parts.

A Lacoste store, more popularly known as IZOD, because we all know we wanted to wear the alligator on SOMETHING we owned.

And finally, something to prove you can find anything in the Mall of America:

A pink shiny sateen Members Only jacket. Awe Yeah.

The 5-8 Club- Home of the Juicy Lucy

And to round out the evening in Bloomington, Doug insisted we all go to a restaurant featured on Man vs. Food and Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, where they serve the world famous Juicy Lucy which is basically two hamburgers with a ball of cheese smashed between them and cooked until the cheese is liquified and lava-like. As you can see, the location of the establishment and the general appearance were totally sketch, but it was packed with fairly normal looking people. I felt a bit safer because we happened to sit next to a table (actually about 4 tables pulled together) of mixed martial arts competitors. Well, the table of cranky old guys next to us could have gotten rowdy ya' know.